You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
"Reality" and all separate lives are the same thing?... We all have separate realities?! My life Has one reality and yours has another?
Haha how much did you smoke
4 feet of smokeee!
Buying beer for freshmen. No matter what they ask for, I'm getting them Colt 45.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
masturbating while the coffee brews is the new power nap
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
I woke up spooning my guard tube. Tell me I'm not the most dedicated lifeguard ever
I just wanted to give you a heads up. There's a crab in the kitchen. He doesn't have a name yet. We are just calling him crab for now. Oh! and we have memosas!
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
I'm sorry that you wanted to get laid and I all I did was play with your new cat instead.
Randomize
