If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
We videoed ourselves having sex... I now know why I close my eyes during sex
She's coming to town, taking me to a Suns Game, wants Anal, and knows we're not going to date, I imagine this is what heaven is like
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
Apparently the last thing they remember of me was me stumbing into a bathroom, then falling out 5 minutes later clutching a butter knife repeating "ketamine goes in my face hole"
I don't remember you taking the condom off last night. Did you just walk home in it ?
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Please don't smoke the bong in the bathroom while you shit. It is not a shitting bong.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
I have a pair of clean panties in my purse. This is having your life together.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Hun your dick isn't big enough for you to be that lame and predictable
I told him to take the baby so I could work out. My workout consisted of getting high and masturbating
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
If there's someone that knows accidental pantlessness, it's Mike.
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