You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
Please don't call me names while I'm carrying your child.
He keeps saying he loves me and ruining perfectly good conversations.
you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
Lowest moment of my life just occurred. I literally threw up all over myself in front of my parents.
I knew the only reason I bought a smartphone was to play "You're Havin My Baby" on the way to cvs to buy Plan B.
You had us pull over so you could pee, you proceeded to pee in some random persons front yard while yelling "im not ashamed"
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
When the cab driver starts laughing its a good indication of the standard of girls you are bringing home
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Realizing life ain't all about burritos and strippers, it's a struggle out there, and it ain't looking pretty so far,..
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
I just gargled with NyQuil
Conversations really do change when your social worker had your dick in her mouth the other night.
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
