so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
Last night must have been awesome, my dog still smells like vomit.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
Green mimosas i think yes
I think I may be stoned foreverrrrrrrrr. The earth has been around for a long time.
The only thought that went through my head was "that would be an absolute disaster" so of course I said yes
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
Got wasted in a little tiki hut by the beach yesterday. Woke up with a coconut and half of a mushroom burger in my purse. I also have a picture of our Romanian bartender's fingernails on my phone lol
Why do you always wake up with meat in your purse?
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
