Was going to watch Bolt. Fucked a stranger instead. Details later.
So you didn't like Bolt?
I'm giving up shame for lent. Here come the best 40 days and nights of my life.
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
so I'm staring at this cat and wondering..is the tail of the cat the derivative of it's head?
stop getting stoned after studying for a calc final.
You haven't lived until you've watched a retriever try to bring back the condom you just threw in its master's garbage
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
All I know is when I checked my phone this morning google translate was open with "help the cow ate my robot" translated to French
I woke up hugging a box of cheerios that had "wonder woman" written in sharpie on it. So much for a sober night.
I know he's married but I don't know how else to show sympathy! Nudes are my only emotional currency.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
Randomize