Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
about to try to wax my asshole... wish me luck
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
I just banged two guys while dressed like an angel. I love this holiday.
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
He wore a Medeval Times crown while I gave him a BJ
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
Why is there a muffler in the livingroom?
First, I just want to say that I had nothing to do with it. Second, how good is your car insurance?
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
All I remember is dance battling with a man named tom the entire time who kept buying me drinks so id say it was a success
5 am booty call not ok. The fact I actually went over definitely not ok. My vag needs to learn some control.
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