Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
What happened last night?
You soiled yourself again and told everybody that you'd given birth.
By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
You got in the cab and told the cab driver "we only have seven bucks so you better drive fucking fast".
I just hit myself in the face while taking off my shirt. I could never be a stripper.
Bailey. He has a soul patch. Idgaf if he was an NFL player. Nobody with a soul patch is attractive.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I wonder how long it will take her to realize that I peed in her night stand.
I just used an Amazon gift card from a student to order a new vibrator....teacher of the year
I'm pretty sure even the managers want me to show up hungover my last day, it would be negligent and disrespectful to do otherwise
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
Randomize
