are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
for our anniversary he stepped it up a notch and bought cool whip rather than the store brand. i was impressed.
You kept calling me your small dog last night.
they hired a photographer to take a family portrait for grandmas bday gift. we just hired a male stripper. we are def the better grandkids.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
i wonder if cab drivers are trained in the art of delivering girls back to their dorms on Saturday mornings. because mine was so nice that he dropped me off at the back of my building so no one would see me.
Between the puerto rican elf, the fat marine, the deaf guy and the ex coke head I've got a good preview if the men in this city...
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Probably TMI here but I just rubbed one out while listening to thunderstruck, almost ripped my dick off.
I left myself a note saying 'buy a hamster but not an orange one like this pen'
omg so drunk
He staggered in with his pants around his ankles and yelled that he lost his pants
I am rewearing my dress from last night. I only wore it for like two hours before fucking. And I took it off first so no cock contact. This is my new standard of cleanliness.
you've already made the comitment to pee in public you should at least whip your dick out
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