apparently the secret to your success is patron
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
Over it. He probably jacked off to bible verses last night. I don't want that
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
Everyone looked at me like I just fucked a gopher and was wearing it like a hat
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
You call it a hangover, I call it a baby squirrel burrowing its way out of my head.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
I asked him if we could switch positions so I could watch the Olympics... I'd say date number two is a miss
im half tempted just to scoot up to him and whisper "I'm not wearing underwear" but idk if thats a heartfelt apology
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
So the vodka/tequila mix went down fine but the burp made me cry
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