It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
We decided to smoke and then made crosses on our foreheads for ash wednesday
mom would be proud
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
Her brother is deaf.
no wonder she was so good with her hands
Whatever. I indirectly made you cum overseas. Call it even.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
I could really do without pictures of your asses in my inbox. That said, I'm extremely jealous that I wasn't involved.
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
Did I really make him pull over to give the homeless guy my bra?
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
When you didn't respond I figured you must be busy so I'm home in my pj's 2 beers in and stoned from weed I got from my gaybours. They also gave me cake. I'm not moving from this recliner.
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
None of these texts make sense. except for "step 2.5 equals velociraptor." that i get.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
Randomize
