how much do you want to bet that her wedding invites will be vera bradley themed? loser has to frame theirs.
You asked the dj to play 'who let the dogs out" because it was your birthday. You left the bar and then re-entered to the song
You brought back some girl with you at 3am and introduced her to everyone as "hot pocket"
The girls we hooked up with were hammered, pushing each other in a shopping cart into the sushi place and through the restaurant... One's a volunteer EMT. God help her patients.
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
She's beautiful tan and skinny she will make me hate myself and that's what I need in a friend right now
I vaguely remember Matt shouting something about "GET ON MY LEVEL!" at the bartender before he attempted to order a case of tequila from him.
Is it wrong I want to seduce my ex to prove the point to his current gf he's an ass?
So guess who got away with telling their girlfriend she's insane multiple times in a Valentine's day card. Yup, this guy.
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
Is it too early in the day to be getting dressed for the strip club?
I just want to have sex that doesn't end like a B-rated horror movie.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
I think I broke my dick but 10/10 would definitely do it again.
Randomize