Just remembered I told my boss that matt used to make me toss his salad like every time we hooked up. Nice
My underwear smells like fireworks.
Got bored today and made list of places in apt I want to have sex. One includes opening and coming out the window.
If I die, please delete the word file entitled "Rainy Day"
I seriously just washed my dick in a public restroom. That's how dirty last night got
is it pathetic that I think he's cheating and it doesn't bother me because for the first time I'm the girlfriend and not the other girl?
It just hurt to pee because he was fingering for fucking gold in there.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
Eye surgery went well. Just can't believe it took getting lasers through my eyes to temporarily stop the vivid sex dreams I was having
the saddest part is, this is not even the first time i've woken up in a shopping cart with a concussion.
He was just lying on my lap in the backseat screaming how if the cops came he was a blanket.
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Oh. My. God. You texted my mom "IM BACK BITCHES!"
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
You told me that you would let her eat cake off of your ass, then fell asleep on the floor
I woke up in the middle of the night with my dick out and my electric blanket on high. It's like she wanted a hot dog.
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