Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
At least I tried to be smart when I brought the alarm clock into the bathroom just in case I fell asleep.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
He just compared our sex to a grand slam on Wii fitness
You're doing it right
If you had a dick, I would hope it falls off and comes back to haunt you while fucking your ears at night. But you don't. But if you did, that's how mad I am at you
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
Boys winking, cowboys tipping their hats, old people looking disappointed.... ah, I had forgotten the unholy powers of exposed cleavage!
You are my hero.
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
