you said the mailboxes were turning into babies and they started crawling away. then you cried and asked me how you were gonna get your college acceptance letters
i feel like pocahontas...the disney character not from real chance of love
I forget the details, but I'm told that I drunkenly stalked him around floor yelling obscure Jewish laws at him
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Pissed along side the highway while waving at all the traffic... if thats not a sign of a productive night to come then idk what is
He lasted about 30 seconds then said you can't win them all. But then he made me pancakes so it's okay. We shall call him mancakes.
Just had the best idea EVER: start a mead brewing/dispensery business! WE CAN BREW IT IN MY GIANT CLOSET, AND NEVER BE SOBER AGAIN.
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
when we woke up this morning she was missing two teeth. the front two.
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
soo... how was my night?
Hey do you care to explain why there are 3 empty pickle jars next to me when I woke up or do I even wanna know?
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
tell me about the fingering
Randomize
