Played "Which Couple Will Take Me Home Tonight" at the bar last night... I can now cross three-some off my bucket list
I don't have enough holes for all these australians
The stripper from Delilahs paid the desk clerk to find out my room #. Either Im doin something very right or she's doing it worng.
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
some drunk bitch driving a golf cart ran over the live band... its bad.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
All i know is we had 4 people on a tandum bike, and told the cops we couldnt stop because our momentum was so good.
that's how you measure success
By how bad my vagina hurts on a Tuesday morning while I'm trying to figure out how I got white girl wasted on a Monday?
You were visibly distraught that my boyfriend and I didn't have sex in your bed. You forced us to take your condoms.
We were still up at 6am, taking shots, because thats apparently how he liked to "get the day started".
I thought I came here to hook up, not for a Study Abroad 101 session
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
Worst sex ever! He was a talker for sure! I was on top and out of no where he said "Oh you bad bitch?" I stopped and left.
Her hand jobs are magic. They smell like vanilla and awesomeness. She made me forget how to walk
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