Is my tampon string too long for this dress?
Theres also beggin' strips and a dog bone in the corner...nooo signs of there being a dog though.
I'm making a contract of things you're not allowed to put in my ass
I swear, its like my old fuck buddies have a 6th sense for when I'm going to be daydrunk. Then they start texting me. And then I start sexting them
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
Our date was amazing and I would like to reward you with a blow job under your desk.
I can pencil you in at 3:30
So question, would you consider it morally wrong to grind up Cialas and put it in ones cocktail? Then I get what I want and he doesn't have to be embarrassed and he can win the mental game with himself? I'm only thinking of him...
Literally if she wants to make a big deal, I'd rather have shit smeared on my face.
First time for everything: started posting a Facebook comment, decided I'm not quite sober enough. Progress.
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I lost my voice. So I'm going to pretend I'm Ariel with legs today.
chasing tequila with frosting. best baby shower ever.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
Randomize
