After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
drinking out of a sandbucket again
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
Um...celebrating is an understatement. You flashed the guy at the mexican restaurant and then screamed, "It's just my bikini, I swear!"
She keeps asking if I've seen him... For the last time YES... IN MY BED LAST FRIDAY NIGHT AND THEN AGAIN SATURDAY MORNING
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
You just referred to a pillow with a stolen bra strapped to it as "she". Let that sink in for a minute.
In other news, last night I told somebody they made eczema look so good they should call it sexzema.
Oh great. I guess I'm second on that list now that we've confirmed she's not a lesbian AND that was her sister.
I want my tombstone to read "making poor life decisions since 1993"
But I've also made plans to crash a black tie event wearing a storm trooper helmet. I think I've found the love of my life..
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
Fuuuuuck dude, he’s got #Excel in his Facebook bio; I’m screaming
Randomize