I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
At barnes & noble, drinking beer out of thermoses, lookin legit.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
This is your monthly public service announcement that sexual services will temporarily cease from Wednesday night to Monday. Please plan accordingly and have a nice day =D
wait, how does the 20 year old one night stand pregnant girl have a superiority complex?
just had a very awkward conversation with the concierge at the hotel, they threw your underwear out
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
me and him got disney princess makeovers at disneyworld. this is why gay guys make the best friends.
I had to break it to her that she was not in fact behind the bushes when she peed on the church last night
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Dude this weed has me so paranoid.
Yeah tell me about it I just screamed after I coughed because my own cough scared me.
I'm pretty sure she tried to draw a self portrait out of her vomit. Then you tried to help, but passed out in the vomit.
Randomize
