# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Lets just fuck. We'll decide if it was makeup or breakup sex after.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
I am alternating between eating dry cheerios and mint chocolate chip ice cream with a fork. Please love me because no one else will
Thank god he came over. I had to have some good sex to makeup for all the bad sex I've been having.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
girls shouldnt black out with american flag bandaids on their nips
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
