I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I'm 25 and she is 19. She wants to practice blowjobs on me because of my stamina. Not only does the GI bill pay for me to go to school I am teaching a freshman blowjob course. I love Texas.
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
My sobriety has gotten out of control. I think I need an intervention.
I don't like how my gyno is telling me how to live my life.
Did my roommate wake up in your girlfriend's apartment in drag again?
I still have a little drunk in my system
Please tell me I didn't send you a dick pic in the middle of Peter Pan..
Randomize
