My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Why are there hot girls at the dollar store?
The recession has changed everything man.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Yeah, the furnace guy just pulled out 4 empty and 1 full beer bottle from the vent. You are no longer allowed over.
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
He got 20 stiches.. Who knew so much damage could come from a single shopping cart.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
he doesn't even text me anymore.. he just facebook chats me a shark emoticon which has turned into code for 'be naked at my house in 15 mins'
I'm going to fuck every single member of the men's olympic swimming team and no one is going to stop me
Delete that photo of me. My ass looks WAY to good it in to be on Facebook for everyone to see. You gotta earn that shit.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
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