Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
weddingsv make me drug and hornr
Who wears a wallet chain?!
The highlight of my Saturday night was singing along to the sound of music alone in my room.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
The stripper told me she had been working there for eight years, then got mad when I asked if she was trying to make it into mangment. Awkwardest lap dance
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
all I know is he gave me a Cialis and tried to take me home.
im afraid if i stop breathing i will turn into a porcupine
He said to me this morning that we should finish these beers, go and get plan B then on the way back, go to the pub to celebrate the death of our baby. I love Manchester.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
He passed out in my car.
What's the problem?
HE'S STILL IN MY FUCKING CAR.
Randomize