I kinda look like a classier blonde kenny powers.
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I just found out I was conceived in a rehab facility... that's better than finding out your dad could be someone else right?
No big deal, we were just two friends having sex. It's perfectly normal we don't remember. Water under the sex bridge,
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
Now all I want to do is stay up, drink wine, and look at dragons.
You said, "I'll have this whole island inside of you by 6 AM. Just point out who you want and I'll make it happen."
Pretty sure I scared her away last night by putting a vodka tampon in my ass
I think there is cocaine on my toothbrush.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
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