I cant take that shot because i want my penis to stay hard.
So I went on a date with this girl...and whos our waitress? My girlfriend got a second job she didn't tell me about to afford my bday present.
i have a girlfriend
if you're drunk do you have a girlfriend?
no
Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
We were playing flip cup on the nice dining room table. Losing team had to shamwow the table in between rounds
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
At what part of the night did you guys leave?
After my hot tub cannonball.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I'm glad you threw up in my bed because now we talk.
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
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