Tell her she's as useless as a condom.
There is an asian family here, I heard the mom call her son onyong
God I'm so bored. I wish I had a baby or something to play with.
And this is exactly why you should NEVER have kids.
you could play connect the dots with the people ive fucked in this room
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
As long as he sees me topless I don't care. Redemption. REEEDDDEMMMPPPTTIIIOOONNNNN
There's a bag in my room with garbage, a thong, fritos, and an electrical cord. I'm assuming it's yours
........yyyyyyeah that's me
Well, I've taken the art of car peeing to new heights
If I have to masturbate more than twice a week you fail as a fuck buddy. Just so you know...................you failed
Well, we broke up and instead of putting my shit out on the curb like a normal person, she fucking donated everything to Goodwill. So now I have to pay two dollars for one of my own t shirts.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
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