taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
You told me alcohol would be the death of you then ordered 10 shots of tequila.
Did she have bad breath? Bad breath makes you think of all the bad things in the world
you read me verses from the beginners bible until my answering machine finally ran out of time and cut you off.
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
I don't know what I should tell you tell you. I don't want to encourage you to dye my dog.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I woke up in a bush somewhere in Tucson with a full suit on. Great way to end my birthday.
it's like the easy bake oven version of plastic surgery
Randomize
