I'm waiting for seagulls to eat this throw up
Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
Someone told me that drinking would get me no where in life. Drinking has gotten me everywhere in life.
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
Wednesday. Otherwise known, to you at least, as "there are two gay men in my bed" day.
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
he congratulated me on my ability to grow long hair after pulling it to see if i had extensions
Would nail polish remover take gorilla glue off my nipples? We had a strange night.
Jessica just ate her lipstick. That's how the night is going
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
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