Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
Tell me why Im cashing out of Walmart with Smirnoff and catfood
Imagine the time you most wanted to kill yourself. Now add a room full of jail bait and no booze. Multiply that by a million.
I brought him to this party even though we're not together anymore because we made a bet on who would have sex first, and it is a sausage fest up in here.
Im about to embark on a date with someone who shit in my car. How did this become my life?
I just don't know about this life anymore. Quite frankly I think I belong up there in the great blue, lounging on a cloud sippin tea with Jesus
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
You are so lucky you didn't go back to Tate's house. They decided to figure out who had the biggest balls... I was the judge
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
I don't know about this Sanders guy after all. I'm voting for MYSTERY BABYLON, WHORE OF ALL THE EARTH
Hillary?
I was so high last night I honestly think my tears were medicinal
She's dancing around licking a fork of nutella. She is not sober.
Randomize
