The brown eye won't let me do that either.
walkin around the woods blazed, drawing pictures of trees and plants, i get a grade for this
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
I drunk wandered into my parents bed and slept between them
I think that's the first time I've heard someone say "this is the safest way of doing things" while holding half a gallon of jagermeister
He was like an artic tracker. Walked ten paces from the tree, then 15 paces from the mailbox, dug down in the snow, and pulled up the case of beer he hid from his parents out there. It tasted like ice cold success.
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
That girl from the bar sent me a text saying that she wants to wear my cock as a hat. A cock hat. Is that good or bad?
The party got hot, we all started raging, took off some clothes, someone threw me in the shower and we all kept raging. Nude Rager, I was there at the point of conception.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
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