He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
We George Forman grilled some girls phone last night.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
Just in case you were wondering..... I really did just wave goodbye to you with my penis.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
He sent me a snapchat of himself growing a double chin. I think we're past the stage where there's any risk of us sleeping together. Ever.
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
I would eat the Denny's grand slam special out of my new probation officers b hole
Agree to hang out with him and then take a gigantic shit right on him. Or if youve forgiven him for being a fucker maybe make out with him.
I just want to drink bourbon and have sex and then eat like, a Christmas cookie.
I despise everything about her. Except her tits.
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
Randomize
