4:25 am: I want you here. Ugh.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Someone should tell Glenda that I only hang with her because she makes me look prettier.
She offered to make me a fruit roll up salad for breakfast...I'm not sure if that's the coolest or weirdest thing ever...
i have some very unhappy turtles in my backseat
I prob couldn't even get his attention if I had a dick growing out of my forehead
I'll wind up on his doorstep with a confused "oh you live here" expression, a feigned ankle injury and a seemingly fortunately placed bottle of tequila. I don't care what it takes: HIS MOUTH WILL BE ON MOUTH.
I'm taking stock of m life as of right now and my Friday night plans are to drink a 30 rack by myself so I can have a tv stand when it is finished
Ugh I hate you, and the responsible adult life I pretend to have during daylight hours
We got way too high so we're sitting in the parking lot of the movies trying to figure out what bar to go to
You fell in the corner and refused to get up unless someone helped you. And then you crawled under the pool table and took a nap.
Drunk me commented on almost all of her pictures. My favorite one is titled "be as the sea". My comment is "cold, rough, large and letting anyone come inside you. you accomplished." Guessing I'm not invited to the party anymore.
when I finally convinced you to get off the floor you looked at me wild-eyed and said "the carpet was a VAST EXPANSE OF SEA"
You kept shouting about how you were the king of all bitches...and doors, for some reason.
Then you screamed in her face to shut up about thick thighs saving lives because actually they can suffocate people during oral sex
Drunk me is very safety conscious And apparently just as annoyed by her as sober me
Randomize
