Everytime she would start slurring, she'd stop, hold up a finger, wait like 30 seconds, then try again. I love drunk people
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
We just used hot candle wax from our joint lighting candle to make a bunch of new small ones how stoned are we
He was completely serious when he said my boobs were like "majestic white clouds."
I swear this guy grew up in land without leagues. someone should inform him he's way out of mine
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
I can't believe I had to convince you to not drink butter.
Pretty sure he sprained my tongue. This is why you don't hook up with gingers.
I hoped the great care he put into rolling a blunt would translate to my vagina.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
Welp. June's off to a great start. I just ripped my pants, completely sober, at 10:30 p.m.
Waking up drunk is great, waking up drunk and hanging with your mom is even better.
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
Oh well, he'll live. He has a hand and a penis.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
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