I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
He is going overseas for 8 months, not only was that blowjob a going away present, but i was supporting the troops
apparently breaking a beer bottle and then throwing up in a urinal is a terrible way to pick up girls.
yeah he was eating me out and i didnt know someone made popcorn so I thought the smell was comming from my vagina
wtf
Just woke up to my stoned boyfriend building a shrine around my bare ass. He'll never leave me.
she pulled the sheets over her head to blow me but the static kept making little lightning bolts and I was too high and got really scared she was going to electrocute me.
Oh btw I took the eighth out of the plastic wrap so I could use it to wrap my red pepper. This can be seen as either pathetic or resourceful.
and I keep making him eat me out and buying me presents, this is paradise. I wish he cheated on me earlier.
She kicked in my bedroom door in only high-heals with a bottle of wine, announcing it was "cock-o-clock"
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Eating a grilled cheese at a strip club... good idea??
But yesterday I literally met half his family buzzed wearing a cheeta print bathing suit super short shorts and a tiny tank top.. I was like awesome
Almost to my house to grab beer. And pants.
I knew you were super hungover. But so hungover you fire our house cleaner because her vacuums too loud is excessive
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
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