Funny, my mom didn't get it when I said 'that's what she said' after she said 'it's so thick, it's impossible' in reference to my milkshake
I'll let you put expensive food in me, but really, not much else.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
I miss seeing your mom and dad at church, well mostly just your mom... She used to hug my face into her boobs.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
So basically, I've just woken up in another random bed and I go to get my pants and he's wearing them. Like my underwear is in them... What the fuck is wrong with my life?
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
Yeah we do. It needs to be like a good penis- long, substancial, and able to make people cry.
i just cleaned my bong... I do not feel healthy
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize
