So are we goin out tonight?
Dude, we woke up in your car in some parking lot last night...
And that was fun, wasn't it?
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
she'd have to be at LEAST a cup size bigger for me to even consider putting up with her voice
Stop bringing these fucking whores home with you. If I have to fight over the remote with a bleach blonde idiot wanting to watch the hills reruns one more time I'm pissing in your shampoo.
So apparently last night I was running around columbus circle station screaming that Obama was a pussy and that "waterboarding should always be an option" lol
It's not quite a landing strip... It's more like a soul patch for my vagina.
I actually kinda like her but everyone else hates her, so consider it a third party grudgefuck.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I made one of my coworkers cheers to me not being pregnant. I've never talked to him before tonight. Keeping it classy.
I don't even care if you were high. The fact that I've been begging for us to have those cinnamon rolls for months and you didn't even save me one is not ok.
Come get your boyfriend. He is hammered talking to me about hot dogs and casinos.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
Randomize
