i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
A kid wearing a Batman belt buckle in my psych class just asked how people get pee fetishes. I'm too high for this.
and i had to drink on "never have i ever unsuccessfully tried to seduce a virgin ginger"
is this the sara with the beer cane?
You guys tried to boil water to fill up the empty hot tub. After the fourth trip back with the kettle you gave up.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
It was like a Thanksgiving meal, which you spend 8 hours cooking, and the family wolfs down in 20 minutes. All that flirting and build-up for like 90 seconds of pumping and he was gone in a flash, never to be heard from again.
CAN I WEAR ASSLESS CHAPS TO SUNDAY BRUNCH OF JUDGEMENT????
Would it be weird if I bought knee pads and shin guards to fuck in my car?
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
I realized just how much my daughter is MINE when I heard her tell someone "Go shit yourself" yesterday.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
