Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
my mom noticed the "toothpaste" stain on my tshirt...she repeatedly attempted to get it off by licking her thumb and rubbing it. See Jenn it obviously doesnt taste that bad...
after watching ten minutes of "the decision," I conclude that King Lebron has more influence on America than Barak Obama. I love our countries values.
while i was sleeping he changed my screen saver to his dick with a heart frame around it. I just might be falling in love.
It's like a puppy that we have to take care of at all times or else she'll get sad, lonely, and chew on the furniture. And by 'chew on the furniture', I mean have anonymous sex.
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
Ohhhh sweet! I may be down for that. I'll be a german beer girl probably passed out on a park bench somewhere.
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
i ended up making out with my new neighbor in a stranger's car that we found unlocked on a driveway somewhere. apparently drunk self never say "no" to adventure.
He stumbled out of the bathroom with his pants around his ankles yelling "tie my shooes!"
4 pharmacies and not one had Plan B. If this is gods way of telling me it's time for a child, he can fuck off.
I should stop pointing to my vagina when I say "I'm in charge!"
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
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