Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
just fit an iguana in a condom...have pics
I just undressed him with my eyes. And gave him a 10 inch penis. I hope its true.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
This is all my moms fault. She shouldn't have encouraged my weird fascinations as a child
so far we have 6 big wheels and 10 boxes of wine for the tour de franzia. team drunkslut is favored to win the yellow jersey.
she looked at me completely serious and said "orgasms are 15% Stronger during a hurricane" and started to take all her clothes off
she got kicked out of the bar for shoving german chocolate cake in the bartenders face. we were there less than a minute
We lost you in the mall, but to no surprise we found you waiting in line to sit on santas lap. You said you wanted to ask him for a pound of weed and a subway giftcard for xmas.
Also, the greatest of ironies: I got shampoo confiscated by security while Corey managed to get pot through. MERICA!
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
In two separate occurrences, I could have avoided getting my heart broken, and chlamydia, all with a left swipe.
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
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