there should be a rule against ugly people hooking up.
yeah...but then what would the ugly people do? hook up with pretty people? yeahhh..don't see that happening in the near future. plus i'm not okay with that.
I thouht it was time to go to sleep and suddenly I was front row on brokeback mountain
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
You can duct tape yourself to me so we dont lose you and you dont have to celebrate your birthday alone
Now I'm heckling that my belch is more exciting than their fireworks and I peed down the driveway.
Blonde girl lying face-down, passed out next to my bed, walls are covered in guacamole. College is looking excellent.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
I'm not saying Tijuana was a bad idea, I'm saying that we make poor life choices. And Steve was robbed by the police.
Just to update you. I am dead. So your probably gonna have to find a new roommate
What's sexier than showing up smelling like fast food cigarettes with a jar of moonshine in your hand
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
For the love of god, if any of you are up, bring me pants.
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