My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
beer pong: waldo and ernie vs. bacon and eggs... i love halloween
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
Word to the wise: do not smoke before going grocery shopping with only 12 bucks. So stressful.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
If I can't get slightly excited by the thought of his face between my legs then I know I can never sleep with him.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
When the stripper from this weekend is your cashier at Publix the next day 😐💀#pensacolaproblems
I'm so high I have morphed into the monopoly man. Or maybe the Pringles guy. I don't know but I have a mustach now
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
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