why is it impossible to run with a back pack without looking like a giant d-bag?
haha... you gave me a great visual of you in high white socks running with a backpack with eye of the tiger playing in the background
that only happened once.
I have glitter on my penis. Do you know anything about this?
so my aunt is sitting on the couch, eating a brownie and watching the biggest loser saying how it's not that hard to eat healthy
man i love america
this ugly chick literally cried last night because i wouldnt let her give me head
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
I told them the reason I passed out was because of "heat exhaustion." Not from showing up drunk. Good thing this is Arizona.
Woah there. I lasted a semester and a fourth of college not having sex. trust me when i say keeping my virginity was an obstacle course of olympic proportions.
The virgin olympics. I would win the gold. For America.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
Letting two friends screw at my place in exchange for weed. This is my life.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
I can't remember the last time I saw a penis in person that I didn't see a million times on text first
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
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