dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
I take pleasure in knowing how many gallons of booze we've put away in comradery.
I think we should measure in "bathtubs"
Any clothing i put on is too many clothes.
Are you feeling okay?
Right now, not a single thing feels even slightly okay. That hungover.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
She said her name is "Goose" and regardless of her being a lesbian, sometimes she just "needs a good dick"
BOOM BITCH SERVES YOU RIGHT I HOPE YOU SHIT YOURSELF PETER PAN
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Just because you can't have him, doesn't mean you can have his brother.
What about the best friend?
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
