Smith looks like a guy that goes on a lot of first dates
Where the fuck is Rob at, he hasnt answered his phone in like 2 weeks.
Dude Rob died 2 weeks ago wtf?
Holy shit r u serious? How?
Just kidding, but im pretty sure he boned your gf and doesnt want to talk to you.
There is something about drinking on a golf course and getting with younger women that just really makes me feel at home.
Oh please, I could turn a Vienna Boys Choir concert into a shit show
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
Your subconscious sucks. Mine is awesome. I have a recurring dream where I manage a chocolate factory run by big titted hookers.
A) you're a liar. B) that would be awesome.
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
I managed all three standard threesome configurations a female-bodied person can achieve in just under nine years. I want to high-five everyone involved, but I've lost touch with a couple of them
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
My horoscope should say: you're an alcoholic, get help today, Pisces
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