Dude if it is possible to orgasm from shitting i think it just happened.
Remember when we were mad at her for brining her mom on spring break? She just won the wet t-shirt contest. I think we owe her an apology.
how are pickles made is in the google history again... why do you always wonder that, and forget the answer?
he gets drunk and then tries to eat the lasers at the dance club
I managed to lose everything but my socks.. which stayed on all 6 times we had sex.
Made fish tank punch. It's like trash can punch but in a fish tank. Also, my dad saw a picture I uploaded on Facebook and called me a pussy for only making 10 gallons.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Oh god I just realized bird face had che Guevara tattooed on her upper arm. Deals off, readivised opinion
There was an unopened condom by my car when I went to pick it up this morning. Someone may have fucked on the hood of my car last night. Don't think it was me but I can't rule it out 100%.
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
Nobody likes ball hair. Not even gay dudes
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
im gonna shove his purity ring down his throat
If I could tell my younger self three things it would be: 1. Smoke a lot more weed 2. Have a lot more sex 3. Own a good set of pots and pans
Randomize
