For someone who "only drinks patron" your lack of pickiness with men alarms me
Please fuck him. And then let me tell her. And then let me protect you from the knife she pulls from her Ed Hardy purse. Please.
i've officially fucked a sailor, a policeman and a biker. I've never noticed my Village People fetish until now...
So not only did team sweden fail to particpate in any drinking game but i also found puke in my viking helmet this morning.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
Let's just say a refrigerator got involved and after that I had to send him home.
Do you want the something i can tell my mom in ten year version or the you're gonna call me a whore but be proud version?
I'll never be able to have sex on these sheets. I'd have to cover up the eyes of every single Elmo.
Oh Brad. Your poor brain, always being ignored for your penis and crazy women.
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
Apparently duct taping your dick to your buttcheks before the first time she goes down on you isn't as funny as projected. She cried because she thought I was a girl the whole time.
sexting while watching Peter Pan the Musical! something just doesn't seem right here
how much do I hate his dog? was just googling to see if you can rent a hungry eagle for the weekend hate.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Randomize
