adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
i wish semen tasted like chocolate
Preparing for wine wednesday. How would you feel about improvising and starting a white russian wednesday tomorrow instead? you know, shake things up a bit.
Sorry for feeding you peanuts last night while you were sleeping, you looked hungry.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
I was looking at our sex bingo and pretty much every single row or column has at least one kind of person that is harder to find than all the rest
We've made things harder for ourselves
The struggle will be part of the fun
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
This is why we can never be together. Well that and we r married to other ppl but that's very minor detail compared to the coffee issue
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
I'm going to use this quarantine time to improve my blowjob skills.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
