well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I want to get laid tonight but my sheets haven't been washed since vomiting in them on Halloween :(
After a valiant attempt at golf, I think it's time for Tiger to go back to doing what he does best- having sex w/ blond, white women.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
were trying to schedule when i can give him head in between classes.
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
Then he told me he was proud of me for remembering that i blew him that night.. Maybe my drinking is getting out of hand.
you were crying and trying to give advice to people.. that's was a new level of drunk for you
What is the appropriate way to inform him that I am TOTALLY down for break up sex?
last night a police horse bit me when i was wasted. even the animal kingdom knows i'm no good
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
struggle bus is officially taking me on a road trip to hell. If this is just the first destination, I'll jump out the fucking window.
Building a door into the garage so when I bring girls home my mom doesn't wake up.
Pathetic yet considerate
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We were on the beach when you spilled sand in the bottle and said "relax it's vodka, it'll disinfect itself"
Randomize
