She went from zero to smokin in five shots
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
I just found a beer pong ball in my mail box. I think its a sign
Drunk wheelbarrow races might make the top 10 list of dumb shit weve done. Especially considering all the broken glass around...
Ok. I am hammered I will admit it but my legacy needs to live and your the only woman that could spawn satan. We need to talk.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
That would make regret #10
He was more like the original regret
Find me a cup with a lid so I can illegally drink in your car. I'll be there in bout 10 minutes.
I just used my vibrator to scratch my back. This being single shit is for the birds
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
Excuse you? I'm an asshole at least 90% of the time. Get it right.
So the same great-aunt that told me to freeze my eggs for procreation just told me that I should strut around the dance floor b/c I'd get picked up.
I need to meet your family.
I just woke up in a prom dress on your bathroom floor, yea I'm 32.
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