I hate it when hot girls behave. It's so anticlimactic
Can you tell me why I have pubes stuck in my teeth?
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
First drunken handjob: not successful. Second handjob, mostly sober: much better. Nightly news brought to you by me.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
So did u puke in his bathroom or all over his Olympic medals? Please say medals...
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
just reminessing about the wedding and were they seriously to tight to serve a meal oorrrrrr was it just another one of my black-out-by-dinner drunks
the fact that you actualy have a 'black-out-by-dinner drunk' is a bit deserving..
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
I went on a psycho cleaning spree so I feel I've earned the right to spend the day in bed watching porn and eating sausage biscuits. If you bring alcohol you can join me.
All other girlfriends are inferior. You are the chosen one.
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Your life is a soap opera of great sex, cats, and booze.
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