Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
he threw up on me, hugged my legged and then started laughing. when i asked him why, he said "it's like the sour patch kids commercials."
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
Somehow she slept thru the vacuuming, people walking in and out, and the sound of constant beer bottles hitting the trash, but when someone said weed in a regular volume of voice she startled awake.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
You were running around yelling "BUKAKE!" and squirting people with a shampoo bottle you found. Total shitshow.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
She’s 47 and wants me to fuck her on her mom’s hospital bed
Randomize
