There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You should really come over right now. There's hot construction workers across the street. I'm gonna go pour beer on myself in a bikini on the sidewalk. See you in 5?
i dont understand why you dont get why i love him. i opened the bathroom door and he had his penis in his right hand and a mcdouble in his left.
Just threw the poptarts. Sgits boutta go Down. 1 liter of wine
just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
Went home drunk last night and peed on my Christmas tree, my mothers going to fucking kill me
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
Do what? I was just saying that at some point there's a chance I'll have a boner. Think of it like a guessing game. "Does he have one now?"
I want this pizza in and around my mouth forever..
Drunk at work, covered in Cheetos is no way to go through life.
I found Cheetos.
Good!!! I'm so proud of you for not snorting alcohol. Big girl steps.
You're a problem for me, dick game too good. In the future when I'm with someone I actually wanna to date, now I'm gonna compare.
So apparently I’m into choking now
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