i need an iv and a liver transplant
I cut holes in my blanket and put my arms through it. It's the sleeveless "Bro Edition" Snuggie.
just friend requested my arresting officer from last night. too soon??
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
my brother wants to know why there are wet balloons in his bed and i think you forgot to throw the condoms away but im too hungover to check if thats what hes talking about
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
I am slightly proud of the fact his mom turns on the dryer located behind the spare bedroom EVERY time we visit!
We hooked up for a while and on his way out he high fived me and said "stay weird"
I'm more worried that you thought licking a pole on Bourbon street would turn me on
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
just had sex in my dorm hall public bathroom while wearing my favorite cat sweater. tonight was a win
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
He asked me to describe my life outside work. I responded with "Home-wrecker.
Randomize
