marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
i love insurance, just had an iv with 4 bags of fluid, 2 shots of finagrin and a 2 hour nap . woke up without a hangover. all for $20
It was an igloo shaped doghouse, I was obligated to hotbox it
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
I just peed behind the dumpster and dedicated it to you. Can i call u?
I woke up in the ER. This living like theres no tomorrow really could mean theres no tomorrow.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Dude we both faced 40s of steel reserve which is like saying, "Hey, I'm a complete piece of shit!"
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Went to 7-11 to buy condoms with the $20 I found on the ground outside Rite Aid. A good day for drug stores
There is a video on my phone of me suckling a bag of wine from your crotch area while you say "The Body of Christ" in a Michigan accent. I vaguely remember being offended by this yet I did it anyway.
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
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