Just got my period. I'm not pregnant with Scott's child and I won't be having any sex tonight. This must be what they mean by bittersweet.
you kept spraying the cat with water and then telling it to "man up" when it cried
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Considering he believes im part of the 2016 us curling team id say hes pretty drunk
I don't believe these are real court rooms. They look absolutely nothing like law and order.
whenever music plays i find myself always doing kegels to the beat. its like the new foot-tapping
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
She's trying to sext her husband for the first time. I'm feeding her lines. It is 3 am and I am playing Cyrano for my wasted big sister TELL ME I AM NOT THE BEST SISTER IN LAW ON THE PLANET.
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
He reached a whole new level of creepy. We were getting a coffee and he noticed the girl at Starbucks name tag looked her up on fb and friend requested her right there without ever introducing himself
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
As much as I trust your struggle imma deal with being Eskimo brothers with my own sister before I get to that
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
i love discovering the tokens of our drunkenness from the night before. it's like easter egg hunting. today: smashed pizza rolls in the sink.
Randomize