Why do girls always cry at the bar?
What's the point of going out if you're going to cry all night?
Are they having an exestensial crisis at the bar?
I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
The pickup line "You look exactly like my sister" would only work in Arkansas...SCORE!!
Just took career test that listed librarian and bartender as top career choices. Fascinating.
It honestly wasnt my fault this time. i was in shock. WHO THE FUCK OWNS A PEACOCK?!
the australian girl literally just drank an entire pitcher of beer in about twenty seconds. i want to go to there.
So, do you know where my left shoe is? I mean, we were at a few places last night, and I called them. No luck for me.
i know and i thought i was only capable of loving dick and drugs, im so happy
She told me she eats fruit when she's hungover because it has more water than water.
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
She wouldn't put out on the first date. I think my boner put a hole in my mattress.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
so i realized that he's only my physical relationship and beer is my emotional relationship...
Randomize
