I want to bang chis in dee ass burt he be hating on me times two. Me be tryin ti love onu
Bendover
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
i dont know what to do
with your life?
no, with my silly bandz, im already wearing 3
I got cut off for calling the flower girl a slut. What are you doing?
If I am going to throw out this whole "born again virgin" thing...i'm not going to do it on someone who is less than 5 inches.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
And he's a cuddle champ. I know because I slept over because I don't know what boundaries are.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
I just got a text giving me an hour window for when my vibrator is gonna be delivered. If that's not awesome customer service, I don't know what is.
How do you know i dont look like i got attacked by a weedwacker on bath salts?
it was like reliving my childhood drunk at a bar.
idk he wanted to trade sex for a triple order of hashbrowns
AND YOU SAID NO?????????
Randomize
